Playing mind games makes us powerful. And no one is immune to the feeling of power. The game itself can be seductive, risky, thrilling, elevating, and above all – manipulative. The thing is knowing where to draw the line because betting on someone’s love, friendship or any kind of bond is not the same as betting on high money stakes. In this text, we will focus on seductive mind games played among people in love.
While this term is often used to describe manipulative behavior, let us (maybe naively) hope that it can sometimes be honest flirting and just another way of showing affection. Most of us like to show ourselves in the best possible light before the person we are attracted to. Hiding the weak spots is a natural drive. We tend to seduce someone with our virtues. So, providing extra affection towards our partners should result in an equal feedback. What you do afterwards is what matters the most and separates you from the manipulator.
Being a Player
Anyone who is a player has strong motives and very wide specter of roles to choose from. Being a player means taking an acting role in disguising the real goals. For example, a person can pretend to be an honest friend, while in reality he or she has only one goal: to gain your trust and use you in a variety of ways. Oftentimes, players may even make themselves believe the lie. This makes them even better at the roles they play. What drives someone to be a player? Insecurity, jealousy, need to control the situation and fear of recognizing true feelings.
Being an Ice King or Queen a.k.a Playing Hard to Get
This mind game can be closely related to the previous one, because in its essence is the need to pretend that you are not interested in the object of your attraction. “Why?” would be the logical question. People playing this game are convinced that this makes them appear more desirable. Alternative explanation is that they simply like the other side to put some efforts into winning them over.
Testing limits may be perceived as negative behavior and bear the connotation of disrespectful or dishonest acts directed towards our partners, just in order to see whether such acts are acceptable. Again, knowing your limit is crucial, no matter at which side you stand in this game. If you are the one being tested, it is possible that your better half wishes to see if you are weaker than he or she thinks. Then, there are people who are looking for someone who has firm boundaries, and there are those who are looking for more open-minded people with loose restrains, who like to experiment. Testing limits does not necessarily has to be manipulative technique. Especially if it ends with love firecrackers.
Do you test your partners? What is your favorite mind game?