Not all of us can be Tim Roth-intuitive when it comes to busting liars. I must admit I was a fan of “Lie to me” series. The way he would press his lips firmly and give meaningful glance at the subject before making decision whether he or she is telling the truth… I gave it a lot of thought and was not able to conclude if such a skill is a gift or a curse.
If you are into poker, learning how to spot the signs of insincere behavior is crucial. Non verbal communication takes up to 55% of the communication in general, while another 38% is done by various vocal signals. Only 7% of communication is expressed in words. Many believe that body language can be faked, but with great difficulty. This is the reason why so many professionals have studied body language and still need time for observing a person in order to make substantial conclusions in regard to lying. Nevertheless, let us walk you through some basics in spotting a liar.
Unusual eye contact – It is no surprise that this is the number one proof everyone should look for.
Statistics say that we are being lied to up to 200 times a day. Can you imagine? Not every lie we hear is a big, important lie. Furthermore, most of the lies we believe is either written or told over the phone. It is a bit more difficult to manipulate someone when you are face to face. Why? Well, it seems we have innate ability, the sixth sense or call it whatever you want – to recognize when we are being verbally manipulated. This is where the eye contact kicks in.
If someone stares at you, you will inevitably feel discomfort after some time. The same would happen if someone is obviously avoiding the eye contact. Logically, the proper, honest look should be balanced, without looking away, or too much blinking, or staring at one point, or looking to the upper right corner if a person is right-handed. Psychologists say that by looking in this particular direction a person is in a way “calling for” the creative part of the brain where imagination is stored, to think of a good story, a lie, an excuse. In case you are being confronted with an experienced liar, who actually enjoys this game and is proficient in hiding intentions and the actual circumstances he is in, observing the pupils is more reliable tell-tale sign. Once a person has told a lie and believes he was good at it, the pupils of the eyes will become dilated and will stay that way for some time. This is also applicable to situations when someone is participating in a game or a situation where he feels comfortable, such as looking at strong hand in poker, perhaps?
Breathing – Although breathing is an inborn process, it can be controlled to certain extent. However, the less experienced players would be overwhelmed with controlling their gestures in order to pay some attention to breathing. Any type of change in the regular breathing rhythm can be a sign that a person is hiding something. Grasping for air is the natural, unconscious act and we all do it many times per day, but in stressful situations, breathing is accentuated.
Here we are at the subject of more obvious gestures which tell if a person is under stress – because in case you were not born as a poker star, the chances are your body language will give you up.
Scratching your nose, rubbing you ears, neck or biting your lips – Remember the story about the three monkeys who do not see, hear or tell evil? It was made up for a reason. This old symbol stands as a reminder of a well behavior, which is obviously visible by the things we say, hear or see. When a person lies or hides something, he feels the need to find a comfort zone. This is why by touching some parts of the body, a liar is comforting his own conscious.
Putting objects between himself and the person being lied to is another strong sign of hiding something. Installing a barrier actually tells:” We are not close. We cannot be, because there is no honesty between us. Furthermore, do not take any step closer. You may see through me.”
No matter whether you do your best in misleading others, or you are an easy-to-read kind of person, we would love to hear about the most hilarious lie you have ever told or heard.