There is nothing more challenging in human relationships than telling if the bond is honest and mutually trustworthy. Choosing a partner can be complicated on its own, let alone making the newly added member fit into the well-established routine and circle of family and friends. How to tell if your relationship affects your friendships is the right question.
You fell in love and think your partner is the most mesmerizing person in the world. However, your friends disagree. You are obviously wearing rose-colored glasses. Good for you! However, in order to keep friends by your side you should consider some of the following aspects every now and then.
Try More Balanced Time Scheduling
It is OK to be eager to spend large amounts of time with your significant other. However, remember that spending time apart can sometimes do wonders for people in love. And who better to spend that time with than your friends? The phrase that “distance makes hearts grow fonder” was invented for a reason. Solitude can also provide the opportunity to reset your mind and take a closer look at your decisions and acts. The basic self-check can come in handy from time to time.
We know that falling in love is all about emotions and very little reasonable thinking. Nevertheless, keep in mind that your friends have been around for a long time, and for a reason. If you had chosen them to be your friends, you must have valued their opinions. There is no reason not to continue valuing them once you fall in love. Let them be your correction factors.
Make Sure Not to Be Too Focused on Your S.O. in Conversation
Your friends are there to share the news and offer a shoulder to cry on. They are among the first persons to learn about your adventures, doubts, and so on. However, try not to be boring. Although friends usually like to hear about it, they also like to comment on other topics. Remember the things you used to analyze over and over again before you were struck by love? Or the common interests you had, even if it meant carelessly staring at … well, whatever. There is life apart from your new partner. And there is another part of you that needs to feel independent in order t be able to love. The best advice we heard of was not to give up on oneself.
Be Aware of Early Signs of Abusive Relationship
As we have said earlier in the text, it is fine to want to spend all the time in the world with your romantic partner. Nevertheless, one thing to watch out for is the early sign of abusive behavior.
Manipulators are masters in making you believe that giving up on your friendships was originally your idea. This is serious. No one has the right to isolate you from either friends or family. Regardless of the reasons. If someone deserves that you turn your back on him or her, it should truly be your own decision. Moreover, a large warning sign is the moment when you start to feel bad in a relationship. Friends can help you out in situations like that one. If you feel that your self-esteem is getting lower by the day, turn to your friends. If they are your genuine friends, they would know what advice to give you and will always have your back.
Observe How Your Friends React to Your Partner
Although you may think there is no reason in the world for someone not to like your S.O., someone may find him or her repulsive. Observe how your friends are treating your partner. The important distinction you should make here is whether they do not like your plus one or they do not like the way you behave in his or her company. Either way, it is a challenging situation.
If it is the latter, you should go back to the first advice stated above and refer to solitude and introspection. It is important to keep the character features that make you who you are. If you are changing, it should be for the better.
In case your friends simply do not like your partner, you should consider their reasons. If you do not find them legitimate, then the only thing left to do is avoid the situations where the meeting between your friends and your partner is possible. This will complicate your life, for sure. Eventually, one day, you will most probably, need to choose.
Do you let your relationships influence your friendships?